ILERA: In your childhood what messages did you get by observing the roles of men and women?

Rev. MacNichol: Men were much more important than women. Women were there to serve men and take care of the social and emotional world. Just watching my mother – she was in charge of children. I came up in a very traditional patriarchal family. My father went to work and when he came home we all scurried around to make sure everything was good for him. My mom got dressed so she would look nice. I brought his slippers over and his jug.

I had three brothers and they definitely got preference as far as I was concerned. They had certain privileges that my sister and I didn’t have. I was the oldest in my family. My brother used to say, “You shouldn’t be the oldest because you’re a girl. Boys are supposed to be the oldest.” The men went hunting and fishing. My brothers did those things with my father. We would stay home. My mother didn’t go to college because she married my Dad. Even in the times when she had the possibility of going she felt like she needed to stay home, take care of him and make sure everything was going right. I had a very traditional childhood. It made me be a feminist from the time I was very little even though I didn’t know what that was.

When I was 12 years old I wanted to be a Page in the Senate. My father was very political and that was the only way I could get him to connect to me. So I became very political and that’s all I ever talked to him about. I said, “I’m going to be a Paige in the Senate.” I wrote the Senate a letter to do my application. They wrote back and said, “No girls allowed.” I was enraged by these things.

ILERA: So what did you learn about power and control?

Rev. MacNichol: I don’t see power and control as just something about domestic violence. I understand that is something we all internalize from wherever we are coming from. The air we breathe is about power over something or someone. Power is not bad. We live in a politics of domination. We all ingest that in different ways so we really need to resist that. Power and control in a relationship is nested in Power and Control of the larger world we live in.

ILERA: What is CONNECT and what is its purpose?

Rev. MacNichol: CONNECT is a New York City non profit that is dedicated to eliminating and preventing intimate partner violence, domestic violence, family & gender violence and to create safe families and peaceful communities.

We have about 15 contract agencies we work with in the city. Our “hub” is our Community Empowerment Program. Communities have the power transform themselves. There are communities working to end sexual assault and domestic violence. We just want to support that. I like to call it the midwifery model. Like midwives we offer knowledge, skills and techniques recognizing that those who want to give birth to peaceful families and communities will be giving birth the way they want too. We don’t want to impose, just help – be present and provide support and resources. We work with over 150 community based organizations – including faith based organizations - as well as individuals who want address this very difficult issue. CONNECT Faith is part of community empowerment because people want to go to their faith community. This is a spiritual problem as well as a community problem. It goes to the core of people’s spirit.

“To read the entire interview click here”

Rev. Sally MacNichol, PhD is Director of Programs at CONNECT NY. It is a New York City non-profit agency committed to the prevention and elimination of family and gender violence and the creation of safe families and peaceful communities. Rev. MacNichol can be reached through CONNECT NY’s website at www.connectnyc.org.

CLICK BELOW TO READ PREVIOUS "ILERA INSPIRATIONS" ARTICLES:
Rev. Cari Jackson, PhD
Lori S. Robinson
Mo Beasley

© Ilera LLC. All rights reserved. PERMISSION MUST BE GRANTED BY THE WEBSITE OWNER FOR USE ON OTHER WEB SITES AND OUTSIDE PUBLISHING